It goes something like this, "I hate when someone puts me in a box".
I know what you're thinking...ok Sheridan, you're little, but people just pick you up and put you in a box? I don't think so.
Well, not exactly. If you asked, "what kind of box?" you're on the right track.
No, not that I can recall has anyone ever literally thrown me in a box. When I was little I was like a cat and enjoyed making forts and houses with them, but that's different. =)
When I say it, what I mean is people make quick judgments about someone, often from false information or misunderstanding, and that someone becomes a very specific thing, with very specific boundaries, and in the eyes of the judger they cannot be anything else and they will never go outside of that boundary. Like it's scientifically impossible or something. That's what they are and they can't do anything outside of that box (*ahem stereotype*) or the judger's mind might explode. For example, you deem someone selfish. They are put in their selfish box, forever to be that way and act accordingly. Perhaps the person is in reality depressed and currently having troubles, so they tend to focus inwardly right now. But no no no, they are just a jerk, and you don't like them. Perhaps they were selfish but they learn to outgrow it and become better. But no no no, a few years ago they did something you thought was selfish and they must be faking their generosity now, because darn it he/she is a selfish jerk!
Now if you can imagine, I've been put in a box A LOT. And I don't like it.
I had a friend in high school, we weren't super-tight, but we would write cutesy notes to each other in study hall and talk about how much we loved band. She and her sister and 1 other friend were the only 3 people on earth that I allowed to call me a specific nickname that coming from anyone else, I LOATHED. But from them, I liked it. Who knows why. So then one year there was drama between my friend and this boy she was dating, and they broke up. People thought she was a jerk about the whole situation, but looking back, I don't really know what happened, and she was a lucky freaking duck because she got away from that boy scot-free, if you ask me. So I had always liked this boy. A few months later, I was dating that boy. Also around this time, the presidential election was going on and I liked a different candidate than her. I'm not sure what happened anymore, but I *think* I got put in a man-stealing, politically hated-upon box. Never to be liked again. Years later, I think that kid we both dated is a giant douchebag and my political views are not the same. But it doesn't matter. I am in my box.
A few years ago, I knew this girl from church, and I wanted to be her friend. She was cool and sassy and hilarious, and nowadays we'd probably get along great. Maybe we would've then too. I'll never know. Except for about a one week period, no matter how I tried, she would never even give me the time of day. I guess I was awkward back then, I don't know. But to this day, I never knew what I did wrong and still have no idea what box of incompatibility I was put in, but I'm in one.
I dated a guy once that for months, we had the time of our lives and he thought I was the greatest girl ever. Seemingly over night, I became appallingly boring, lovesick, and a HUGE annoyance. After coming out of the shock of being told that, I cried over it for a couple days, fasted and prayed about the direction of my life, and was completely and totally at peace with the situation. I knew it was what it was, I felt hopeful for my future, he was still my friend and I forgave him, moved on, and I never cried over it again. But that didn't matter. No matter how many awesome fun things I did, no matter what I said about how I truly felt about the situation, to him I was boring, lovesick, and annoying. Sadly for a really, really long time. Maybe still. I hope not. That was my box.
Chase has been put in boxes too, despite his ability to blaze a trail and ignore the crowd. Vicious gossip-filled and disgustingly false boxes. It ruined multiple friendships and relationships. I feel sad for him when I think about it. Is it hurting him now? No. But it did at one time and it's not doing any good for the people who put him there.
Moral of the stories, STOP PUTTING PEOPLE IN NEGATIVE CRAMPED BOXES! It's like a prison for the one you put in there, until they learn to walk away and not care about it anymore. And you're even worse off than they. I know it's really hard for us as humans to not do it. I've done it. Probably more than I realize. But let's at least keep an open mind enough to be pleasantly surprised that once in awhile, someone might just break out of that box and be different than we expected. Give the benefit of the doubt as often as you can. Believe that maybe, just maybe, you're wrong about someone.
Despite how much I hate being put in a box, looking back at all those stories makes me realize that without those experiences, I wouldn't be where I am today. Maybe Chase would be with that girl, and I would still be with that guy. Then we wouldn't have each other. Then maybe that guy and girl wouldn't be doing the cool things with their lives that they are now, or being with the people that are better for them. Maybe Chase would still have those friends and by now they would have dragged him down with them. I could go on forever. Without some of those boxes, I wouldn't be as good at my job or have the desire to pursue school psychology. Without some of those boxes, Chase and I wouldn't be able to really and truly feel each other's pain like we do over our similar experiences. I guess what I'm trying to say is, why do I think bad things happen to good people? Because it gives us new eyes to appreciate the good, teaches us, provides direction, and gives us opportunities to grow closer together.
In conclusion, I know people make mistakes, and this life is all about learning to deal with heartache, sorrow, awkwardness and other people. Boxes are inevitable. But all I'm saying is, be a little kinder. Forgive. Find a little more good. BE the good. Open some boxes and give people the opportunity to come out...then you'll be free too! And the world would be a better place. =)
