Aka Most-Misunderstood-Holiday-of-the-Year-in-Which-People-Unnecessarily-Feel-Sorry-For-Themselves-and-Annoy-the-Heck-Out-of-Sheridan-By-Making-Bitter-Cracks-About-Couples-and-Calling-it-Singles-Awareness-Day Day.
Can you tell it's one of my peeves? Everyone, listen to me. NEVER feel sorry for yourselves. Love your life. Love your people. Feeling sorry for yourself leads to selfishness. And selfishness leads to more misery. If you're feeling sad, forget yourself for a little while and go serve other people. It will make a world of difference.
Valentine's Day should be about celebrating love of all kinds, not just between a couple. Maybe it is just my upbringing, but I've always felt that way, and I've never hated Valentine's Day. And guess what? This is only my second one with a "valentine".
(Ok, maybe I dated someone during Valentine's Day in the past, but sometimes having a significant other doesn't mean you have a valentine. A friend of mine once blogged that you should never settle for someone who makes you feel any less than a giant. Remember that.)
I used to buy myself Dove chocolates, make red velvet cupcakes, go to YSA dances all dolled up, give out goofy valentine cards to my friends, eat delicious Costco cake at home with my parents, and appreciate all the people I love and those who love me. I had the best time on Valentine's Days! I wish other people could feel that too! Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox. Just remember to look at the bigger picture. Love is everywhere.
Chase and I decided to venture out into the ice-covered world that is Downingtown for dinner tonite. After trying about 5 different places, all of which had not a free parking space to be found and at least 10 cars circling like vultures, we ended up at Isaac's. Isaac's is like the best kept secret of Lancaster/very under appreciated. I LOVE that place. Not only were their parking spaces, but the restaurant was only half full. At 6PM! It ended up being just what I wanted: quiet nice atmosphere, good service and food, and a fun time with my love.
The first is that I've been meaning to update and tell you all how I'm doing with my goals, now that I'm a month and a half in.
Things are going pretty well, and I'm pleased so far. I've been reading Harry Potter y el caliz de fuego just about every day haha. I usually end up reading for a good hour. I read by section and underline any words I don't recognize, then look up each of the words and go through and read the whole section again, out loud when I can. It's a long process but I think as I continue it'll get easier. I feel like it's just like English, you have to build your vocab and use it to get really good at it.
After a bunch of emailing and online searching, I found a community band that needs a flute. Unfortunately I haven't attended a practice yet because of how awful this winter has been so far. But there's been some progress, at least.
So far I don't think I've lost weight, maybe a pound or 2, but that's also because I haven't started running. I've been eating MUCH better, and have weaned myself off of certain things (soda, donuts, cheesecake, etc haha) that I will reward myself with when I reach certain weight loss goals. But I find if I don't back up healthy eating with some physical activity everyday, it doesn't do much. I can't wait to get outside and start running! Right now the sidewalks are covered in about 4 feet of snow, and the clear areas have an inch or 2 of ice, but I hear it's supposed to be warm this week and you bet I'll be out there as soon as I can! I've decided to be kind to my leg muscles and use the couch to 5k program to get back into the swing of things at first. =)
I've successfully been able to save money, and I haven't written to Ellen yet, yikes! I will get on that one right away.
I looked up a bunch of yummy sounding recipes (mainly from the Six Sister's Stuff blog, if you're a cook, you need to check it out) and Monday on my day off I plan on going on a large grocery shopping trip to buy everything I need so I can start having some serious cooking adventures. =)
Lastly, the writing/blogging/booking thing. I've been thinking about this one A LOT. And my stories are still floating around in my head. But right around the time I considered openly blogging my first one, several of my friends posted this quote on facebook:
"When life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died to heal. Let people repent, Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve...Forgive and do that which is sometimes harder than to forgive: forget. And when it comes to mind again, forget it again." - Jeffery R. Holland - The Best Is Yet to Be
Another friend posted on her blog about not dragging people down or judging them for where they are in their life around that same time too.
My dilemma is that I've been wronged a lot. I've been treated badly. And while I've forgiven these people, I had plans to tell some stories (of course not revealing who it is about, but still...I'm sure some of you could figure it out) that would at times ridicule or poke fun of these people's actions, or in other ways bring up mistakes that they made. Some stories were going to communicate that their actions hurt, and it's not ok. And while some people may not be sorry, I'm sure others are. I'm sure some people regret things they've said or done. And I realized that while I was honestly doing this with the best intentions (to be an example, to say don't do what I did, or what he or she did, or this worked and that didn't, to empower people to stand up for themselves, to learn from my mistakes, etc), it could very well be hurtful to people who are good and who are trying to live this life the best they can.
I may still record stories, but keep it very private and limited as to who I share it with. I will take great care that the stories I share on here are uplifting. And I will be even more careful if I do decide to share something involving mine or someone else's past mistakes. Hopefully I can find a way to protect these people's identities so that it won't tarnish their name today. I have no wish of doing that whatsoever. The focus is not meant to be what others did to me, but what I did good or bad and how I handled situations.
Second fold of my 2-fold blog post:
I'm sitting here watching Olympic figure skating, and while I love it, it is always a bittersweet and hard thing for me to do.
My heart is hurting a little bit from it tonite.
Did you know I used to be an ice skater?
Yep, a real ice skater! The camel spins, the lutzs, salchows, flips, loops, toe loops, sit spins, spirals, fancy schmancy dresses, 3 times a week...I did it all. For 8 years of my life!
When I turned 16 I'd been doing it for half my life. That's crazy to think about. But that's also the summer I quit. I went to Twin Ponds one morning, took 3 ice dancing tests, passed them, started thinking that I wanted to go the ice dancing route with my career because I was going nowhere with the technicality of singles, drove with my parents to Delaware for vacation afterward, and never went back.
A lot of emotion went into that decision. At that point, I HATED skating. It was one of those things where you lose the love and the enjoyment of something and it just becomes a chore. I never wanted to even go to practice. I had to drag myself there. I never fit in with the ice skating crowd, so I never spoke to anyone at practices. I was terrible compared to the rest of them. I could do jumps but barely handle the simplest edge work. I'd been working on my flip and lutz and camel spin for YEARS and I was still at the same place, having trouble with it. It was expensive. I was really busy with things at school. Had I not quit skating I couldn't have gone as far as I did with my music career (which I also ended up giving up on...ugh). I remember having the conversation a few weeks later with my parents that it was probably time to quit, and it was truly heartbreaking. It had been my life.
It made sense that I did it, but looking back I wish I had just let go of the lessons, the competitive side, and the push to move up more levels. And I wish I would've kept skating on my own. Maybe not as frequently, but once a week, every other week. But I just stopped dead. I don't regret replacing that with marching band, drum major-ing, and district and honors bands, but I do regret that I quit completely. Wouldn't it be cool if I could get on the ice and still do those things today?
And so I always have mixed emotions watching it. I can't even describe it, other than my heart hurting and feeling "weird".
I've gone skating maybe 3 times since then, and I can still do some jumps and spins. It does come back surprisingly fast. And though I'm now an old fart in the world of skating, part of me wants to find an ice rink and go to public skating once in awhile to get those things back. I remember how AMAZING it felt when I went once before and after finding my feet managed some salchows, toe loops, and a truly terrible sit spin.
*Sigh*
So now that I'm reminiscing...enjoy some videos of my favorite performances and skaters from back in the day.
For starters, I was obsessed with Michelle Kwan. Here's her 1998 performance in which she was robbed of the gold medal and to this day that upsets me. Darn you, Tara Lipinski.
My favorite male skater:
He was such a sweet guy. A polar opposite of his fellow Russian, Plushenko. And he totally deserved the gold. I cried too!
Favorite performance I've ever seen:
Sarah was a total underdog and it was a huge upset, even for me. I was still holding on to my hopes that old timer Michelle Kwan could get the gold she was robbed of before. And I also liked Sasha Cohen better. But honestly, I remember watching it and thinking "holy. cow. This might be the best skating I have EVER seen". And I was so happy for her.
And my favorites for this Olympics are as follows: Gracie Gold, that little spitfire Yulia Lipnitskaya, and NOT Ashley Wagner. Not that I know her, but she kind of seems like a jerk to me. Maybe I'll change my mind.
